


selling souls

by ribbonelle



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, bittersweet things, i couldn't care less about capitalization, slight angst, spoilers for trost arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-14
Updated: 2013-09-14
Packaged: 2017-12-26 13:29:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/966485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ribbonelle/pseuds/ribbonelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean would sell his soul for a few things. He wasn't a man that asked for much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	selling souls

i.

jean never thought he’d make any friends when he first registered to be in the army. he could live with being alone, most of his classmates were going to end up dead anyway.

not him, though. jean had plans. he had ambitions. he was not going to die like all the other soldiers, it’s not written in his destiny, death is not for him.

 

ii.

marco bodt was simultaneously the worst and the best thing that had ever happened to him.

 

iii.

jean would give his soul to touch mikasa ackerman’s hair.

maybe kiss it a few times. kiss her a few times. make mikasa his. she’s the most exquisite thing he has ever seen in his life, and it surpasses even the annoying mug of eren jaegar, so he’d still steal glances at mikasa even if eren gave him serious shit about it.

marco found his infatuation really amusing. he’d laugh his weird, tinkly laugh and scrunch his nose at jean, as if he was experiencing second-hand embarrassment.

“you should at least try and talk to her, jean! goo-goo eyes really doesn’t suit you,” he said, and jean felt like socking him in the face but marco has creases in the corner of his eyes from laughter, and lights in them that were almost starry so jean spared him for the time  being.

maybe when marco doesn’t look so goddamned pretty himself.

 

iv.

he snuck out with marco from the barracks one night; it’s been a year since they joined the training squad. they had a particularly enjoyable dinner. there were many laughs, the yearly rankings stating that jean was on fifth place. marco was sixth. eren was a little lower since he fucked up so many times with the 3dmg and jean figured it was a perfect reason to celebrate. to break some rules.

he ended up lying down under that one tree on the hill overlooking their barracks. marco sat beside him, leaning against the tree trunk and he was smiling to himself. just a little curve of the lips. his eyes were as bright as ever.

“what are you thinking about?” jean asked, because he’s bored and marco wasn’t being a good partner for conversation at the moment.

“stuff. mostly the military police.”

his voice was airy light, but jean rolled his eyes with exaggerated anyway.

“wow. how boring are you?”

“shut up! it’s just…we’re both going to get there, right?”

“you fuckin’ bet. we’ve got good records so far. you’ll get to protect the king, and everything. we’re going to make it.”

the smile marco flashed at jean made jean feel like he could overcome the world with nothing but that image in his mind.

 

v.

it was flitting and brief, but marco’s lips were solid on his own.

a kiss.

like a brand, like fire burning his lips to mark them as ‘been kissed’, it’s his first kiss ever and he’s kissed by a boy, and it’s  _marco._

jean socked him in the gut.

 

vi.

jean apologized (stuttering, flustered, mumbled apologies) many times and marco was wheezing-laughing with pain from the punch, and he shook his head at jean.

“no. it’s okay. i shouldn’t have done that so suddenly anyway. even if you were looking at my mouth a lot of times.”

he was teasing and the smirk he gave jean was so familiar and so marco. jean realized there was nothing wrong with this. nothing had changed.

 marco wheezed into his mouth when he kissed marco again. hard.

 

vii.

jean would sell his soul if it meant spending an eternity with marco bodt.

a good friend, a great partner, a fucking fantastic lover (considering the few times they’ve fumbled with each other, too overwhelmed with passion and lust for actual finesse), and jean couldn’t see a future without marco. he’d probably have to get even gayer than he already is, ask marco if he would be jean’s. ask marco if jean could spend time mapping out his freckles to memorize them, to treasure every single one. to wake up next to him in the morning and feel loved. protect the king together though let’s face it, jean would be more protective of marco than of any other person.

he couldn’t imagine a life without marco.

ever.

 

viii.

they had to fight for trost.

fresh, newly graduated soldiers.

so many of them perished.

 

ix.

marco died.

jean broke.

 

x.

the king could wait. marco loved jean and jean loved marco. (loves?)

it ate through him like death itself, the gravity of marco’s loss weighing on him heavy, something pressing on his heart terribly painful whenever he so much as just look at the bunk beside him.

they were supposed to be together. jean was supposed to protect marco.

there wasn’t any reason for him to survive now, honestly.

jean was selfish but marco made him become selfless for the sake of one person and therefore, marco’s the worst thing that had happened to him.

 

xi.

he loves marco so much.

joining the recon corps, the memory of the ashen, burnt bone in his hand fresh as day (even if it wasn’t marco, it probably wasn’t marco, but for jean, the whole fucking bonfire was his lover burning and that’s all that matters), jean sold his soul.

he’d sell his soul to be with marco again. and that’s exactly what he did.

**Author's Note:**

> i felt like discarding caps and writing something about these two. my very first snk writing.   
> apologies.


End file.
